The Three Ps of Online Indulgence

But you can manage the personal and professional risks of online indulgence by remembering the 3 Ps: Principled, Private and Planned. Here's what they entail:

Principled: If you're using the Internet to shield yourself from judgement by friends, family, colleagues or community, make sure you're not also violating your own moral code. Identify the ethical principles or standards you're going to adhere to in your private activities, whether it's the ten commandments, the Golden Rule, or a simple "don't hurt anybody." Be clear about the secret parts of yourself that you want to encourage, and find room for them to grow online, while avoiding sites or people who legitimate behaviors you know are unhealthy or wrong. You can take a principled approach to even the murkiest parts of your online life if you:

Write down your core principles for online behavior (or bookmark someone else's) so you can check in periodically and make sure you're not violating your ethical own bottom line.
Seek out online communities and activities that support parts of you that stay hidden offline but need a voice: gay teens, cancer fighters, aspiring poets and rape survivors are just some of the groups who have found a new source of understanding online.
Talk with your partner about what's okay for you to keep private online, and make sure you are both taking the same precautions to keep your private activities shielded from one another or the world.
Cut off communications if an online pal insists on asking for (or giving you) permission to indulge in behaviors that are unhealthy, hurtful or against your conscience.

Private: If parts of your online life conflict with your offline life and responsibilities, create a private online identity without links to any identifiable information (i.e. don't connect it to your Facebook account, main email address, social security number or credit card). This reduces your risk of exposure, and prevents you from inappropriately exploiting your professional status or privileges. Keeping your private online life private is not a small job, however: it takes real effort, knowledge and skill to achieve a reasonably secure level of anonymity (or pseudonymity) online. Some practices you may want to consider:

Choose a web browser that offers enhanced privacy options, and use it along with a proxy server.
In fact, get used to using an anonymous proxy server to keep the web sites you're visiting from tracking your IP address, and automatically delete your search history, cookies, logins etc. whenever you log out and/or at the end of every day, or erase your tracks manually.
Read up on the basics of Internet privacy by visiting the web sites of Electronic Privacy Information Center and the Electronic Frontier Foundation, and follow their blogs for the latest news on technology or policy changes that could affect your online privacy.

Planned: Don't let a secret life creep up on you. Make sure you're making clear and conscious decisions about why and how you're keeping it on the down low. Remember that there's no such thing at 100% private. Anticipate the possibility of exposure. If you couldn't handle the legal, professional and emotional consequences of revelation, don't do it at all.

Notice the accounts and activities you are taking pains to hide (like the browser window you suddenly close when someone else walks into the room), and make sure you are handling them ethically and responsibly.
Whenever you make mistakes in patrolling the boundaries of your private online life (like accidentally leaving your browser logged into your secret email account), ask yourself if it's a sign that you want to change those boundaries.
If you're a senior decision-maker, think carefully about any private activities that, if exposed, would affect the share price, reputation or capacity of your organization.
If what you are doing privately online would have significant consequences for the people you love, you need their consent.

The point of the 3 Ps is to help manage privacy, not enable sneakiness. There are many legitimate reasons why people keep parts of their life separate or private, whether it's to find support for a stigmatized problem (like mental illness), community for a marginalized identity (like being transgender) or conversation around an embarrassing interest or topic (like your passion for Rod Stewart). The ability to connect anonymously is one of the Internet's great opportunities, and following the 3 Ps is the best way to ensure you don't abuse it. Do not employ these practices for behavior that is hurtful, unethical or illegal, or to avoid the consequences of bad decisions.

Of course, there is a fourth P in this story. But after all the references it's received in the Weinergate coverage, let's allow that P to simply remind us why the other 3 matter.

http://blogs.hbr.org/samuel/2011/06/in-the-juiciest-political-sex.html